Kerry Haters: We're Not Fonda John

 
I Am Not a Nuancy Boy!

Nancy Gibbs has a ridiculous Time Magazine cover story on Kerry, entitled "Does Kerry Have a Better Idea?" The subtitle is "Mistakes were made going into Iraq, he says. He'd undo them".

Let me guess: He'd hit Ctrl-Z on his keyboard a few times? BTW, the answer to the question posed in the title is "No", as Time admits:

He doesn't have a detailed proposal for what to do next, just a plan for coming up with a plan.

The plan involves getting a bunch of smart people together in a room and jawboning each other.

The article is fawning, verging on obsequious, towards Kerry. How's this for excusing Kerry's history of flip-flops:

Like any good politician, John Kerry knows the value of simple answers. And like any other careful student of history, he knows the risks too, for some issues just won't let you get away with a yes or a no that you can live with forever.

And that's just the first paragraph! Really, at times this article is so elaborate in its excuses for Kerry that it reads like one of Dowd's self-parodying columns (see two posts below).

His message shifts: Don't for a moment think all that worldliness means he has no convictions. Or that he is weak or a waffler or a political opportunist.

No, I would not think that for a moment! Perish the thought!

Note the clever use of the "His messsage shifts:" at the front; this allows her to deflect any criticism of the piece as editorializing. She's not saying it about him, he is. Also note that unlike yesterday's NY Times article fisked below, Gibbs does not really allow Kerry to speak for himself. The piece has some direct quotes, but it also has long passages where she (apparently) paraphrases Kerry's thoughts rather generously. This allows the writer to clean up the prose and arrange the arguments in the best possible light.

My favorite bit comes fairly early in the piece. Gibbs had apparently asked him about his flip-flops, and he denies it, specifically with regard to the war.

"I don't think war is nuanced at all. I think how you take a nation to war is the most fundamental decision a President makes," he says, "and there's nothing nuanced at all about keeping your promises. There is nothing nuanced about exhausting remedies that give you legitimacy and consent to go to war. And I refuse ever to accept the notion that anything I've suggested with respect to Iraq was nuanced."

I'd guess he's read Steyn's column.

 
Always Look for, the Liberal Label...

Patrick Healy writes in the Boston Globe that Kerry is hoping to neutralize the "Massachusetts Liberal" tag that he will inevitably be saddled with. It contains more of Nuancy Boy's idiotic comments like this one:

"But I haven't met one parent in America who's written a letter to anybody saying, `I want dirtier air for my kids to breathe' or `I want dirtier water for my kids to drink.' "

Strikes me that as usual, Kerry is borrowing from one of his former opponents, in this case John Edwards. The Breck Girl had an annoying part of his speech where he'd say something like "If you want an America where your kids drink dirtier water, then I'm not your candidate".

And reading that, it's not hard to believe the account of the CBS crew shooting 3 minutes of Kerry bloviating and then having to coach him on his wording so they could get a usable sound bite. Why the bit about the parent writing a letter? Why not just say "I haven't met one parent who wants their kids to breathe dirtier air or drink dirtier water "?

 
A Gentleman of the Renaissance, Part Deux

Slow-Mo Dowd is in self-parody mode this morning. She put John Kerry to the culture test and found him mountain high and valley low. Asked to name his favorite movie, Kerry comes up with 37(!),

....ranging from his "Fellini stage" to his Adam Sandler period, from "National Velvet" to "The Deer Hunter" to "Men in Black"....

This reminds me of Marty Peretz's endorsement of Al Gore in 2000. Peretz had been Gore's advisor at college, and he reported that Gore would show up every semester with a list of 30+ courses that he wanted to take. Peretz saw this as evidence of Gore's intellectual curiosity; I saw it more as evidence that Gore couldn't make a decision between competing choices.

He not only reads poetry — "I love Keats, Yeats, Shelley and Kipling" — he writes it. "I remember flying once; I was looking out at the desert and I wrote a poem about the barren desolation of the desert," he said. "I wrote a poem once about a great encounter I had with a deer early in the morning that was very moving."

The message is obviously aimed at the cultural elites: Kerry is one of us. But Dowd hastens to assure us that he's not, despite the mawkishness of the preceding paragraph, a poseur. He likes Adam Sandler and the Hardy Boys too!

(Later addition: The more I look at the description of his poetry, the more fatuous he seems. I mean, writing about the barren desolation of the desert--wow, there's a real original thought! I happen to live in the desert and it ain't all barren and desolate when you're down on the ground, no matter how it looks from above. The comment even more highlights what a blue-blooded ass he is!)

 
Kerry the Sandalista

Here's a good column in the Telegraph about Kerry's history of flip-flops. Choice cut:

Perhaps Mr Kerry is merely showing his feminine side: it is after all supposed to be a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Then again, he could just be being contradictory.

 
HELP KILL THIS BLOG!

Just sitting here still fuming over Kerry's idiotic comments in the New York Times, covered just below. Please, let's make sure that I can retire this blog on November 3, 2004, the day after Bush's re-election!

 
Go Right to the Source and Ask the Horse

The Times lets Nuancy Boy speak for himself. The results are not pretty. Some of his more fatheaded comments:

On Haiti :

I would have been prepared to send troops immediately. Period. I would have done the work long ago that was necessary. If I'd been president, I would not have allowed it to arrive at where it was.

I would have worked with Canada, I would have worked with countries of interest, I would have worked with the hemisphere. Long ago, I would have had an assistant secretary, and or a special envoy, who would have done the work necessary to avoid that, hopefully avoid that crisis.

Typical Kerry. I would have sent the troops immediately, but I would also have talked to Canada, and by the way the whole Haiti situation would never have happened because I would have assigned a flunky to take care of it.

On Colin Powell:

I don't know what they let Powell do or not do.

I hear they make him sit in the back of Air Force One and raise his hand in cabinet meetings if he has to go to the bathroom. That sort of thinking goes over big with the idiot left, but Kerry seems to have the idiot left in his back pocket. He needs to appeal to the sensible center and the moderate right, and stupid comments like that show how whores think everybody else is a whore.

I think Powell, I'm not sure they didn't lock the keys to the airplane up sometimes.

Some statements require no rebuttal, just airing.

Overall, I found the comments on Powell to be borderline racist. Why in the world would he think that Colin Powell would put up with anything less than the full power and respect due his office? Colin Powell doesn't need the job. He could have 50 times the money and almost as much power in the private sector.

But Kerry doesn't stop there. He claims to have foreseen the end of the Soviet Union, based on a trip he took to Moscow. And then comes this floater:

And the war - not the war, I don't want to use that terminology. The engagement of economies, the economic transformation, the transformation to modernity of a whole bunch of countries that have been avoiding the future. And that future's coming at us like it or not, in the context of terror, and in the context of failed states, and dysfunctional economies, and all that goes with that.

Get it? He's not going to wage a war on terror, he's going to wage an engagement of economies on terror. You just know Mark Steyn is playing with that quote right now and we're all going to be chuckling over it Monday.

And, hilariously, there's this:

I'd make it very clear I'm prepared to do whatever's necessary to not have nuclear weapons, and I am prepared.

Holy smoke, is he trying to run on "No Nukes"?

Just an absolutely ridiculous set of comments. In a way, this makes me more comfortable that we'll win, but it makes me a HELL of a lot more uncomfortable about the downside risk.

 
The Perfect VP Candidate

The media are throwing around names like crazy, but it seems obvious to me that they've missed the perfect candidate for John Kerry's vice presidential nominee: None other than John Kerry himself. Think about it, he balances the ticket perfectly! John Kerry was an anti-war protester, so you offset that negative with John Kerry the war hero. John Kerry is anti-Nafta, so to counterbalance, you add the John Kerry who voted for Nafta. John Kerry opposes gay marriage but John Kerry refused to vote against gay marriage.

 
Kerry Surfers?

USA Today reports that "Democrats hope to ride Kerry's wave". I have a hunch this wave is not going to be "tubular", man.

 
Kerry Picking Up More Support!

North Korea warms to Kerry presidency bid.

But the Dear Leader is not the only one getting deferential treatment from the communist state's propaganda machine: John Kerry, the presumptive Democratic candidate, is also getting good play in Pyongyang.

 
Exploiting the Dead?

Here's a novel take.

 
Musing on Some Kerry Puns

All newspapers now seem to go in for the punning headlines--how many articles did we read with the headline "Howard's End" following the implosion of the Dean campaign? (Too many). As a public service, here are some good puns for future headline writers:

Kerry Me Back to Ol' Virginny--Good for Nuancy Boy's campaign swings through Richmond and Norfolk.

Cash 'n Kerry--Suitable for any article about Kerry's donors.

Kerry On My Wayward Son--Good for stories about Kerry's Vietnam Veterans Against the War phase, especially when you consider the next lyric in the song.

Kerry Me Home--Useful for coverage of Kerry's refinancing of his home mortgage.

 
Kerry Managing to Keep Out of News!

Limited blogging today because, as Fred Barnes predicted, Kerry has suddenly become old news. Chris Sprigman in the Times suggests that Kerry appoint a Shadow Cabinet as is done in Great Britain. Great idea! Here are some suggested picks:

Secretary of Defense: Jane Fonda
Secretary of State: Jimmy Carter
Attorney General: Bill Clinton
Secretary of the Treasury: Robert Reich
Secretary of Labor: Michael Moore

 
Gentleman of the Renaissance?

The St. Petersburg Times waxes rhapsodic over Nuancy Boy:

Most Democrats have come to appreciate Kerry's pertinent attributes: his physical and moral courage during the Vietnam War; his generally thoughtful views on issues such as economic growth, social justice and national security; his evident intellect and maturity; a long and productive public career untainted by scandal.

Ye gods, how can they print that without gagging? However, even they see problems ahead:

Core Democrats are solidly behind Kerry because they came to the practical conclusion that he represents their best hope for victory in November, but Kerry also will have to attract his share of independents and moderate Republicans. So far, he hasn't shown that broader appeal.

 
Google Weirdness?

Yesterday afternoon when I googled "Nuancy Boy", this blog came up as the #2 result (after the original London Telegraph column by Steyn. Today the blog doesn't come up at all.

 
The Sharp Knife

Peggy Noonan's WSJ columns are always a delight, and today she takes out the sharp knife for John Kerry. You have to read it all, it's truly a delight, but here's a teaser:

I didn't think a man with a face that anguished would make it this far. I mean without other qualities that overwhelm and even counter the message of the face, which is: I suffer from mild clinical depression, do you?

 
Would You Like Some Syrup on Those?

Michael Grunwald takes on Kerry's waffles. Best bit:

This list doesn't include quickly withdrawn gaffes... long-renounced youthful indiscretions... less clear-cut sins of omission and opportunism... the inevitable fund-raising hypocrisies that accompany all modern campaigns...

 
Write these Veep Candidates Off

Jonathon Alter suggests these folks might have the right stuff:

John Edwards, Dick Gephardt, Bob Graham, Sam Nunn, Bill Richardson, Evan Bayh, Bob Kerrey, Sam Nunn and Hillary Clinton. He notes long shots, Kathleen Sebelius, Tom Vilsack, and pathethically, John McCain. On the theory that Alter is always wrong, you can scratch these names off the list.

 
Blessing or Curse

Freddy "Beadle" Barnes says that Kerry's easy route to the nomination leaves him with five months of irrelevancy before the conventions.

Naturally, reporters won't want to be seen as running dogs for the Bush campaign. But can they avoid looking into Kerry's national security record, which will be a target of Bush TV ads and Republican attacks? No, because they've given Kerry a fairly free ride so far. Can they skip over Kerry's antiwar activities after he returned from duty in Vietnam? Probably not. Can they ignore his position(s) on cultural issues?

Get the subtle dig on "position(s)"?

 
Kerry the Tedious Blister

Jeff Jacoby gets in a few good licks:

Just as they did four years ago with Al Gore, in 1988 with Michael Dukakis, in 1984 with Walter Mondale, and in 1980 with Jimmy Carter, the Democrats are poised to nominate a tedious blister as their standard bearer.

And:

He has a sonorous answer to every question, but the more he talks -- and he talks a lot; his default setting is "filibuster" -- the less voters will be able to put their finger on why he wants to be president or whether anything about him is more than an inch deep.

 
Kerry, the Choice of Euro Weenies!

The Guardian:

The free world has never had a stronger interest in the result of a US election than it has in the defeat of Mr Bush. Senator Kerry carries the hopes not just of millions of Americans but of millions of British well-wishers, not to mention those of nations throughout Europe and the world.

 
Kerry--A Symphony in Greys

Even those who appear to like Kerry, don't like him well, as Willy Loman would lament:

Mr Kerry on the other hand does nuance, if anything to excess. All too often a Kerry speech is a symphony in greys. The habit reflects his knowledge of the issues, and the ensuing realisation that most things in life are more complicated.

This in an article that says that if the citizens of the world could vote, they'd vote for Nuancy Boy!

 
Kerry Admits Committing Atrocities--The Audio is Available

On his radio program today, Hugh Hewitt played an audio clip of John Kerry's appearance on Meet the Press from 1971. It was brief, but key:

"Kerry: There are all kinds of atrocities, and I would have to say that,
yes, yes, I committed the same kind of atrocities as thousands of other
soldiers have committed in that I took part in shootings in free fire
zones. I conducted harassment and interdiction fire. I used 50 calibre
machine guns, which we were granted and ordered to use, which were our only
weapon against people. I took part in search and destroy missions, in the
burning of villages. All of this is contrary to the laws of warfare, all of
this is contrary to the Geneva Conventions and all of this is ordered as a
matter of written established policy by the government of the United States
from the top down. And I believe that the men who designed these, the men
who designed the free fire zone, the men who ordered us, the men who signed
off the air raid strike areas, I think these men, by the letter of the law,
the same letter of the law that tried Lieutenant Calley, are war criminals."

Coming soon to a commercial near you.

 
Kerry and Whitewater

I'm sure everybody's eyes glaze over when they hear the word "Whitewater" but Kerry's economic adviser has a connection.

 
A Story Kerry Won't Like

Tom Ferraro writes about Nuancy Boy's long term association with Ted Kennedy.

Kennedy, the Democrats' leading liberal voice, has used his campaign magnetism to excite crowds for the usually more subdued Kerry...

Heheh. We'll assume that campaign magnetism will be less on display as the general election nears.

 
Winter Soldiers?

Everything you always wanted to know about the Winter Soldier Investigation staged by Kerry and Jane Fonda.

 
Vets Against Kerry

Good website, has the real Fonda/Kerry picture along with the faked one clearly marked as such.

 
Kerry Flip Flops I

Here's a link to the classic Kerry flip-flop on the first Persian Gulf War, where he sent two letters to the same constituent, one of which opposed the war, and one of which supported the war.

 
How Many Electoral Votes Do They Have?

Dave Kaspar notes that Europe loves Kerry. From an article that he quotes:

The enormous popularity of Bill Clinton showed that Europeans, today just as 40 years ago, react thankfully to a US President who appreciates their culture and approaches the European system of values with respect.

 
Kerry Looking for First Mate on the Titanic

From AP:

Kerry told reporters during a campaign trip to Florida that he expects to announce soon the process by which he will choose the No. 2 person for the Democratic ticket.

My guess is they'll come up with a list and then invite the contenders to come kiss his err, ring.

 
Kerry Gets Exfoliated

Deb Saunders fillets Nuancy Boy:

Or you can believe that you shouldn't believe a politician who complains he was misled because another politician had the cheek to mean what he said.

 
Another Liberal for Bush

Michael Totten says he's voting Democrat all the way, except for the top slot:

Until further notice, this blog officially supports George W. Bush for president in 2004.

 
Jay Bryant's new column includes an open letter to John Kerry from a Vietnam veteran. Read it all, but here's the best part:

I saw brave, good men pass out all their rations to hungry kids, build churches and schools, donate to orphanages, cry silently at the sight of villagers slaughtered by North Vietnamese, but I never saw anything approaching the war crimes that you happened to witness as your boat sped by villages on the river bank.

 
Joan Venocchi has a column in the Globe today that says John Kerry's challenge is to rise above his ambition. It's obvious that she's rooting for him, but has a clear idea of his problems:

Democrats are setting up a race between a president on the wrong side of the issues against a challenger on both sides of many issues.

and

The muddy middle worked for Bill Clinton because he waded through it with a grin. Kerry is growing as a candidate, but charming equivocation remains a campaign challenge

Translation: Kerry doesn't lie as well as Clinton.

 
Democrats Cutting Their Throats?

That's what Dick Morris says. Best line:

But by nominating Kerry, the Democratic Party has chosen to embrace its left wing, eschewing the lessons it so dearly learned in 1980, 1984 and 1988. By marching to the beat of its activist minority, the party has once again put itself outside of the pale of mainstream thinking.

 
Now the Real Campaign Begins!

Walter Shapiro wonders how Kerry will maintain interest now that he's sewn up the nomination. It's really quite simple--Kerry debates Kerry! We could have the pro-Nafta Kerry versus the protectionist Kerry. The pro-war Kerry versus the antiwar Kerry. The Kerry who voted for intelligence budget cuts in the 1990s versus the Kerry who now sees intelligence as our first line of defense.

 
Greg Sargent pokes fun at the New York political establishment in New York Magazine.

Steadily flummoxed by the race’s surprising twists and turns, New York politicos backed the wrong candidates with unerring consistency. They were forced to eat crow and clamber aboard with the front-runner-of-the-moment not once but twice—Dean last fall, and now Kerry. The result has been that the New York Establishment, which likes to think it has great sway over national affairs, has had almost no impact on Campaign 2004.

 
The Washington Times takes on Nuancy Boy's liberal voting record. Best observation:

He asserted that "labels are so silly in American politics." But Mr. Kerry often indulges in ascribing "right-wing" or "far-right" labels to President Bush.

 
Mort Kondracke points out that the Democrats have waged the smear campaign so far this year, not the Republicans. He also notes the list of weapons systems that Kerry voted against and refutes Max Cleland's defense:

Defending Kerry more substantively, Rep. Norm Dicks (D-Wash.)and former Sen. Max Cleland (D-Ga.) claimed that Republicans were unfairly accusing Kerry of opposing such weapons systems because he voted against one Defense appropriations bill in 1991, at the end of the Cold War.

But as one of his own campaign press releases shows, Kerry favored all those cuts in 1984, long before the Cold War was over. He also supported a nuclear freeze that would have left the Soviet Union with a missile advantage in Europe.

 
Kerry Pledges to be Washy-Wishy, Mouthy-Mealed

From the Guardian:

John Kerry vowed that he would not be another ``wishy-washy, mealy-mouthed'' Democrat, pledging Monday to wage a bare-knuckled campaign against President Bush as he sought a Super Tuesday sweep to lay claim to the party's nomination.

 
Nuancy Boy Doesn't Like the Breck Girl?

Catty article over at the Times about John Kerry and John Edwards.

They live a block away from each other in Georgetown, the capital's ritziest address....[b]ut their aides say they were voluntary social companions just once...when, at Mr. Kerry's suggestion, the two had dinner at Olives, a trendy restaurant near the White House, to swap stories after Al Gore passed over both in picking a running mate.

And this bit is just naive:

Their relationship has become a source of speculation among Democrats, not only because they are rivals in the primaries but also because party leaders are increasingly entertaining the notion of a Kerry-Edwards ticket.

Hello? Party leaders can entertain all they want. If Kerry is the nominee he will pick the veep.

And Edwards does not make a lot of sense. He's not going to carry North Carolina or South Carolina for John Kerry. Hell, Bob Graham makes more sense than Edwards in terms of ticket balancing. And how much should Kerry "Like" Edwards--Nuancy Boy's beaten the Breck Girl 16 out of 17 times or so, and yet Edwards still won't concede. He's far behind in the race and just hoping that Kerry breaks down--can you blame Kerry for not liking him?

Of course you can! This is the KerryHaters blog!

 
Nuancy Boy is a Sex Fiend!

According to the front page of the Times, (link will be useless soon) Edwards is trying his best to get elected, while John Kerry's cruising for some tail:

Edwards Seeks Votes; Kerry Focuses on Bush

 
Let's Call Him Nuancy Boy

Mark Steyn is in rare form in the Telegraph today. Funniest article of the year so far, easily. Trying to pick a single bit is hard because it's one of those perfect columns that has to be read in toto for the full effect, but here's something that justifies the header:

If you've gone over to the forces of nuance, Kerry's your guy - or your nuancy boy. He's got nuances coming out of his nuances. As the New York Times put it in its endorsement of the Senator: "What his critics see as an inability to take strong, clear positions seems to us to reflect his appreciation that life is not simple. He understands the nuances."

 
Four factors that suggest Kerry is more likely to be a failed president than a successful one

Mickey Kaus summarizes his reasons for hating Kerry. Nobody will accuse him of burying the lede:

I'm a Democrat, but I have two big fears about John Kerry. The first is that he'll lose. The second is that he'll win.

Fortunately, all four of the factors are ones that also rule against him winning.

 
Kerry To Abandon War on Terrorism?

That's Ken Timmerman's conclusion. Top observation:

Kerry promised to spend the first 100 days of his administration traveling the world to denounce his predecessor, apologize for his "radically wrong" policy, and seek "cooperation and compromise" with friend and foe alike.

One assumes that Kerry will have a special apology for Saddam Hussein.

 
Great article in the WSJ about how Kerry's VVAW affected the children of those who died in Vietnam. Pull quote:

It was bad enough to hear our dads criticized by those who hated the military, but to hear vets allege rampant war crimes and call their fellow soldiers evil before all the world really twisted the knife. Mr. Kerry led the way, proud in the company of Jane Fonda and others we believed had caused the deaths of good men.